Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
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My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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