like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
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IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
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You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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