he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize