After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
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Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
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If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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