you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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