If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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