...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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