Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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