dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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