You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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