So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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