Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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