Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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