Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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