Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.

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(312): I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4. http://tfl.nu/sr4z

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(480): View more from Arizona

I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."

(1-480): View more from Arizona

SHUT IT DOWN.

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(480): I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it." (1-480): SHUT IT DOWN. http://tfl.nu/mpc8

Replies (58) Good night (546) Bad night (5399)
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(404): View more from Georgia

i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".

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(404): i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ". http://tfl.nu/tf5y

Replies (386) Good night (40794) Bad night (3881)
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(551): View more from New Jersey

And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...

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(551): And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries... http://tfl.nu/h7d9

Replies (18) Good night (2896) Bad night (644) Order T-Shirt
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.

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(860): Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know. http://tfl.nu/7lh2

Replies (30) Good night (1451) Bad night (3588) Order T-Shirt
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(228): View more from Mississippi

Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.

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(228): Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street. http://tfl.nu/7nan

Replies (4) Good night (2470) Bad night (805) Order T-Shirt
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(334): View more from Alabama

He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.

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(334): He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees. http://tfl.nu/sgqa

Replies (8) Good night (1341) Bad night (3733) Order T-Shirt
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(310): View more from California

Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement

(310): View more from California

oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.

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(310): Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement (310): oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos. http://tfl.nu/drm3

Replies (6) Good night (2081) Bad night (537)
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(309): View more from Illinois

We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.

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(309): We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates. http://tfl.nu/cot7

Replies (25) Good night (5819) Bad night (844) Order T-Shirt
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(317): View more from Indiana

Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.

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(317): Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina. http://tfl.nu/mqdf

Replies (9) Good night (1324) Bad night (800) Order T-Shirt
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.

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(843): Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex. http://tfl.nu/rb17

Replies (11) Good night (399) Bad night (1707) Order T-Shirt
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.

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(918): I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever. http://tfl.nu/j10b

Replies (13) Good night (597) Bad night (3560) Order T-Shirt
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(585): View more from New York

just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use

(716): View more from New York

how?

(585): View more from New York

not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days

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(585): just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use (716): how? (585): not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days http://tfl.nu/m616

Replies (12) Good night (1855) Bad night (381)
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(801): View more from Utah

It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).

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(801): It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word). http://tfl.nu/10dp

Replies (8) Good night (725) Bad night (283)
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(805): View more from California

Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.

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(805): Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones. http://tfl.nu/uefm

Replies (4) Good night (897) Bad night (130)

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