he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
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I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize