Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize