my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize