he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
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God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
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And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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