my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize