Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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