Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
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You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
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I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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