Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
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We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
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Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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