high people should be assigned attendants
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
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