What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize