found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
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you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
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He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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