in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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