i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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