How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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