Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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