i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time i carry you out of a forest
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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