How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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