Tell her she can't have a vagina
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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