Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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