3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize