Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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