i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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