so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize