Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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