Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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