She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize