bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize