Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
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Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
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Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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