I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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