I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
as a side note pls kill me
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize