ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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