i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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