I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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