Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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