goodnight i made you a song goodbye
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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